The Madder Side
by Lady Sarai Black
Summary: Let me taste your madder side and let's see who I become. Sirius & Harry's bonding time got a little out of hand. Now the press were camped outside, Molly wanted Sirius dead and the whole house wanted to know their every detail. Damn. Slash. SBHP
1. Let's Drink

**The Madder Side**

_Let's Drink_

Let me taste your madder side and let's see who I become. Sirius and Harry's bonding time got a little out of hand. And now the press were camped outside, Molly Weasley wanted Sirius dead and the rest of the house wanted to know their every detail. Damn. SBHP, SLASH.

* * *

"And, and, and then I said to the giraffe," Sirius said in between bouts of hysterical laughter, "That he could go get fucked because I'm not in to that kind of shit!" He laughed again, and wiped tears from his eyes.

Next to him, Harry was slumped down over the table, his whole body shaking.

It was long past midnight; the only people left in the Hog's Head were the drunks. Which tonight included Harry and Sirius.

Aberforth Dumbledore watched them from behind the bar, cleaning filthy glasses with an equally filthy rag. His eyes twinkled madly as he watched the pair.

"That, was the funniest thing I have ever heard," Harry said when he had regained the ability to breathe. "I've never been to a costume party. I want a costume party."

Sirius stared back at his godson for a second, trying to listen to that tiny, faint voice in the back of his head that said 'This is a bad idea'. His angelic side cheered when he listened to the voice. But it was just for a second. Then he ignored it completely.

"I've been to one or two." Sirius giggled. "One or two. Have you heard of the Alley Cat?"

Harry shook his head.

"It's a costume bar. You have to dress in costume to get in."

He raised an eyebrow in return. "Where are we going to get costumes now? It's late," Harry pointed out.

Rolling his eyes, Sirius pulled his wand out of his pocket and smiled a sloppy grin. "Wizard," he said to his godson as he tried to twirl it in the air, instead only managing to drop it and send Harry into another fit of laughter.

The pair lurched to their feet a minute later and stumbled out the door, using each other as support.

* * *

The loud sound of a motor echoed in the empty London street. Sirius Black's huge motorbike roared down the road, the person on the back holding on for dear life.

"Merlin's balls Sirius! Slow down!" Harry screamed. Sirius laughed maniacally.

"Doesn't it feel great Harry? The wind in your face?" he shouted back.

"Slow down!" his godson yelled again, bordering on hysterics. He'd survived a hundred and one plots to assassinate him, only to be killed by a drunken madman driving an over sized motorbike named Isabella.

Three sharp corners and one near miss later, Sirius pulled up outside a trendy looking shop with a large sign reading 'Al's Costume Shop'.

Grinning ridiculously as the sounds of the motor died away, Sirius raised a finger to his lips, telling Harry to be quiet.

"Shh," he said in a loud whisper. "We don't want to let them know we're here!" He slid off Isabelle's seat and stepped onto the sidewalk, motioning for the other man to follow. Harry, still shivering from the ride over, stared in amazement at his godfather, who started an uncoordinated army roll to the glass doors. Shaking his head, Harry slid off the bike and followed his friend into the shop.

"This is illegal," Harry pointed out as he looked around.

"Really? I thought everybody broke into shops in the middle of the night. That's what alohomora was invented for," Sirius replied sarcastically, starting to search through the nearest rack of clothes.

"I thought you said-" Harry whispered, pausing to curse as he stubbed his toe on a conveniently placed trunk. "I thought you said that you were a Wizard anyway. Why didn't you just conjure clothes?"

"I am a wizard. And I can't conjure clothes. It's too hard," Sirius whispered back, being as quiet as he could. Considering their state, this wasn't saying anything.

The pair crept through the long room, searching through the racks for appropriate costumes.

"Hey, what about this?" Sirius held up a purple spangle dress, long enough to drag on the floor.

Harry made a face. "Purple isn't my colour. What about something green? Hermione always tells me to wear green. It goes with my eyes," he finished seriously, nodding his head.

Sirius turned back towards the racks of clothes and started searching for something to match his godson's eyes, careful not to spill the bottle of Firewhiskey in his hand.

A few minutes later he held up a dark green tailcoat, an even darker pair of striped trousers, and the same coloured top hat.

"What about a shirt? I can't go without a shirt," Harry whined in reply.

"You can."

"I can't."

"You can."

"I can't."

"No, you can't."

"I can too!" Harry snapped. He took a few seconds to work it out. "Oh shit. I've been out foxed by a dog. Who isn't even a fox. And is dumb."

Sirius chuckled as he stared at his godson. He wasn't quite as drunk as Harry was, having had much more experience. But he was still pretty slaughtered.

"Okay..." he said slowly. "Well if I'm a dog that is dumb, then you're a stag that is twice as dumb. And castrated."

Harry winced. "It's hunting season isn't it?" he asked sadly as he tried to pull on his trousers without falling over.

"Yep," said Sirius nodding. "January to December is open season on all Harry Potterses."

"I thought so. My name is Harry Potterses isn't it?"

Sirius nodded again.

"I thought so," he said again. Harry looked mournful. He sounded mournful too.

Sirius decided to ignore him. It seemed the best solution. He scanned the room, looking for anything that he could wear. Preferably something that made him look sinful. Sinful suited him.

"Gasp!" he exclaimed. "I've found sinful!"

Harry, who obviously couldn't read Sirius' thoughts, had no idea what he was talking about. "What?" he asked stupidly.

"Keep up, keep up old boy! I found a sinful costume!" Sirius said excitedly.

His godson looked suspicious. "It's not something with the bum cut out is it? Because Remus said you had some, but I didn't want to believe him," he said slowly.

"There! Right there! It's all my sinfulness put into one costume!"

In the corner of the room was a mannequin, dressed to look like Captain Jack Sparrow. There were a pair of grey coloured leather pants, a raggedy white shirt with a grey blue vest and a brown belt over a pinkish white sash around the mannequin's middle. On top of its head was a wig of dreadlocks, complete with beading and a red bandanna. There were no boots or hat, and the coat had gone missing.

Harry studied the costume for a few moments. "There are no boots," he said helpfully.

"I know."

"You need boots. That's why I said there aren't any," he replied, stating the obvious. Which obviously needed to be said.

"No I don't."

"You do."

"Don't."

"Do."

"Don't!"

"Do!"

"I do!"

"No you don't!"

Sirius grinned smugly, and went to pull his costume off of the dummy, only wobbling slightly. Obviously the castrated stag who is also dumb, is much dumber than the supposedly dumb dog. Or whatever.

* * *

The Alley Cat was not only a costume bar. Sirius had neglected to mention that it happened to be one of the hottest clubs in the Wizarding world at the moment. Meaning it was THE place to be seen for the rich and the famous, along with their paparazzo stalkers.

"Lot of people here," Harry stated as they walked to the front of the line, ignoring the grumblings of the irritated people in the line. Being the Boy Who Lived and an infamous, sexy ex-con had its privileges. And didn't they know it.

Sirius didn't answer, instead made a show of bowing to the complaining crowd as the guards let them through the door.

"I love being famous," he said, smirking sexily.

Inside the club was packed, drunken witches and wizards rubbing up against each other in time to the music. The lights flickered constantly, flashes of bright mixed with almost total darkness. To the left was the dance floor, a large area made up of squares that changed colour constantly. The bar on the bottom floor was a half circle, lined with sleek black spin chairs that were mostly occupied. Along either side of the massive dance floor were small round tables, and more black spin chairs. At the front of the room on a raised platform was the DJ, seeming to be the only person in the entire club not dressed in costume. Either side of him were two young witches, dressed as sexy cowgirls, dancing in tall cages. It was impossible to see what was happening upstairs, a mass of people blocking the view. Everyone was dressed in costume. Sitting down by the bar was a Viking and a princess, and shaking their thing on the dance floor was a witch dressed as a nurse.

There was barely any room on the dance floor, not that it bothered the pair as they headed straight to the bar. What else would a self-respecting Marauder do?

"What'll it be, boys?" asked the bar attendant without looking up. She was young, with the blond hair and big boobs that Sirius had come to associate with people working in the Alley.

"Two Firewhiskeys. Thanks, love," Sirius slurred.

The woman looked him up and down, smiling flirtatiously when she realised who and how good looking he actually was. Magazines didn't do him justice.

"Sure honey," she replied, turning around to get the bottle, sticking out her arse more than she needed to as she bent over.

Sirius noticed, winking at Harry who rolled his eyes in reply.

The witch poured them both a shot and left the bottle, adding the cost to Black's tab.

"If there's anything else you need, gentlemen," she purred, and walked away, with a lot of arse shaking. The pair shared a look, and downed their shots.

Harry shook his head, trying to clear it, before reaching for the bottle and pouring them both another shot.

Just as Sirius reached for the bottle to refill their glasses a third time, the manager of the club swooped down like an angry bat (reminiscent of Snivellus), and stole it away from him, ignoring their outraged protests that they weren't drunk (enough).

"What should we do now?" asked Harry after a moment of silence. Drinking had been their plan for the night.

"Well... what do you usually do in a club?" Sirius asked in reply.

Harry stared. "I drink," he said, counting on one hand. "And... I dance." He counted another finger. "But I dance with girls. And you. Aren't. A girl," he finished accusingly.

Sirius considered this for a moment.

"Well... I could be. You don't know for sure that I'm not." Both of them looked down at his groin.

"Are you?" Harry asked cautiously.

Sirius smirked. "Would you like to check?" he asked sweetly.

Harry looked down again. "I would need to be very much more drunker."

His godfather feigned a hurt expression for a few seconds. "Fine then."

Nobody said anything for a few minutes, both content to watch the strangely dressed people around them. Over by the stairs stood four young women dressed as angels, complete with feathery wings. All of them, Sirius noticed, were staring at him. Well... they might have been staring at Harry too, but mostly him.

"Oi," Sirius said to his less-good-looking-than-him godson. "See those chicks over there?" he asked, gesturing toward them.

"Yeah," Harry replied suspiciously.

"They like me. And I'm pretty sure I could persuade them to like you too," he said with a self assured smile. "How about we go visit?"

Harry stared. "They don't like me?" he asked after a few seconds.

"Well... not as much as me. Come on," Sirius replied, and pushed off of the bar, nearly overbalancing as he did so. He turned to give Harry a questioning look. "Well let's go!"

Harry watched his godfather saunter across the room, smirk in place, only occasionally needing to grab someone to hold himself up. He sighed. He didn't really want to meet people who didn't like him.

* * *

Weaving through the crowd in some sort of weird, six person conga line, Sirius lead Harry and his bimbo friends to the most crowded part of the dance floor. Anywhere else and no one would be able to see them strut their stuff.

Sirius started to move as they reached their destination, only looking slightly uncoordinated. One of the women started grinding against him, while a couple others danced with each other. Harry just stared at them. So maybe he had lied when he said that he danced. He wasn't really much of a dancer.

"What about you, honey?" asked one of the women flirtatiously as she moved next to him. "Aren't you going to dance too?"

"Umm... yeah," Harry replied awkwardly, running his hands through his hair. The woman, whose name he couldn't quite remember, began to grind up against him. Gracelessly Harry tried to mimic Sirius' movements, trying in vain to keep in time with his partner.

When the woman realised that he wasn't going to improve any time soon, she moved on to a man behind him dressed as a soldier. All the other angels had left, except for one attached to Sirius by the lips. Harry sighed, and made his way over to them.

"Uh, excuse me," he said, tapping Sirius on the shoulder. "Excuse me." The woman pulled away from his godfather with a disgruntled look.

"What do you want?" she snapped, her face slightly flushed.

"It's okay, love," Sirius soothed, swaying drunkenly on the spot. "I'll meet you at the bar in a second, honey. It's my godson you see, I can't really leave him."

The woman huffed, flicking her hair back and stalking off the floor. Sirius just grinned, before turning to a confused Harry.

"She's hot," he said instantly.

His godfather smirked. "I'm hot too. We go together."

Someone from behind pushed into Harry and he stumbled forward, falling into Sirius.

"Get out of my way, arsehole!" said the soldier Harry had seen earlier, the blond bimbo in his arms.

"This song is called 'Be Bad' by the band Lowrider. Hope you enjoy it," announced the DJ, cutting off any retort from either men.

"Well," began Sirius as the music started. "I didn't know you were this keen to dance with me, since I'm not a girl."

Harry tried to roll his eyes. "I'm not, I'm just-" he was cut off as someone else fell into him, pushing him firmly against his godfather's chest. Their lips touched, just barely but enough.

Both of them froze. Harry looked up and their eyes locked, and suddenly neither of them could look away. Or breathe. Or move.

Neither could tell who started it. Harry would say it was Sirius, and Sirius would say it was Harry. Maybe it was both of them, maybe neither. But their faces were inching closer together, until they were only millimeters apart. And then their lips were pressing gently against each others, and hands tentatively moving.

Harry's hands wrapped around the older man's neck, and Sirius pulled him against his body. They were grinding against each other, in time to the music that echoed in their heads. Harry's top hat was knocked off as the kisses became more heated, and they stumbled backwards.

Harry could feel his waist coat being coaxed from his shoulders, and he pulled back to shrug it off himself as the music stopped. And the spell was broken.

People around them started cheering, applauding the DJ's choice of music. And in the middle of all of that, was Sirius and Harry. They were staring at each other in horror.

Harry was shuffling his feet nervously, and dragged his gaze away from his godfather. His _godfather_. A man. The one he had been kissing. The one who was supposed to look after him like a father.

Sirius didn't notice any of this. He was staring at a point three feet to the left of his godson. His _godson_. The one he had been kissing. The one he was supposed to think of as a son.

Oh fuck. This was going to be awkward.

* * *

**So I may have just written over a thousand words of absolute shit, but you love it and are dying to let me know about it. Right? This idea occurred to me while listening to the song 'Be Bad' by the band Lowrider. It's a really good song, you should check it out. Anyway, this fic will have six chapters, following Harry and Sirius and their growing relationship.**

**Reviewers get cake.**

**Lady Sarai Black**


	2. Let's Smoke

**The Madder Side**

_Let's Smoke_

Let me taste your madder side and let's see who I become. Sirius and Harry's bonding time got a little out of hand. And now the press were camped outside, Molly Weasley wanted Sirius dead and the rest of the house wanted to know their every detail. Damn. SBHP, SLASH.

* * *

"You know that you're my best friend, don't you Moony?" asked Sirius as casually as he could. The pair stood in the backyard of Number 12 Grimmauld Place, staring at the bleak little yard as they shared a smoke. It was habit both of them were trying to kick, without too much success.

With the house finally clean and refurnished, Molly had set her sights on brightening up the dull garden. So far she had planted a flower bed and installed some hideous Muggle gnomes, claiming they were cute. But even these colourful critters couldn't lend a more appealing look to the yard.

"Of course I know that. You're mine too." Remus was slightly suspicious. Sirius could do some very stupid things every now and then, and usually wanted his help to get out of them. And when he wanted something, he pulled out puppy dog eyes and the you're-my-best-friend routine.

"I just want you to know that. And that because you're my best friend, I would never hurt you intentionally, and would fully support you whatever decisions you made," he said innocently. His left foot was tapping out a nameless tune, the only sign that showed he was nervous.

"Okay, you're not fooling anyone. What have you done?" Remus asked in the tone of one resigned to his fate. And he was sure that his fate in the near future held some very embarrassing moments because of his friend.

Sirius sighed and dropped his head, allowing his dark hair to cover most of his face.

"Well you see, it's very complicated," he began. "Harry and I had our 'bonding' thing last night." He paused to grind his cigarette underfoot.

"And we had a fair bit to drink at the Hog's Head. I don't really remember how but we ended up on my motorbike."

"You went driving while you were drunk? Are you stupid? You could have been killed!" interrupted Remus, his brow creased.

"Yes, we did. And we won't do it again, I promise. Actually I doubt if he'll ever go out with me again," Sirius replied dejectedly, not even complaining at the interjection.

Remus stared. This was stranger than usual, even for his friend. "What in Merlin's name did you do to him?"

"I... Well, you see, we broke into this costume shop and got some costumes. I went as a pirate," he added in case his mate was wondering.

"And what did you need a costume for?" Remus was never surprised when Sirius did something illegal, and had given up on scolding. It never did any good anyway.

"We went to the Alley Cat," Sirius replied miserably.

Moony sighed. "I still don't get the point, Padfoot. You broke into a shop. You dressed up as a pirate. It's a little weird, but none of that is really that bad... considering what you usually do."

It was Sirius' turn to sigh. "We... We were dancing with some girls, and then Harry tapped me on the shoulder. The girl I was with left to the bar, and Harry sort of... fell on me. I caught him and we were standing there and then..." Sirius paused, and took a deep breath. He really shouldn't be telling anybody this but he needed help! "We kissed. And not in a godfather-to-godson kind of way," he finished, still refusing to meet his best friend's eyes.

Remus was silent for only a moment before letting out a choked squawk. "You- you did what?" he spluttered. If the situation wasn't so bad, Sirius would have laughed at his expression. Instead he began inspecting the nearby flowers that were starting to bloom.

"Sirius. Please tell me you are joking here. It's Harry. Your godson. James' son for crying out loud!" Remus' amber eyes were wide with shock. What the hell had he done?

Sirius still didn't answer.

"Sirius! Look at me! Tell me you didn't kiss him!"

After a long moment his friend looked up at him, eyes stormy. "I didn't kiss him, okay? We kissed each other or something... I don't really remember. But I was drunk and don't blame this all on me!" he exclaimed, kicking out at the wall.

"Who else am I meant to blame it on, Sirius? Harry for getting taken advantage of by his own godfather?" Remus was shouting now.

"I fucking didn't take advantage of him okay? And stop yelling that I did!" Sirius screamed back. The pair were standing three meters apart, both of them wishing desperately that looks could kill.

"You stop yelling!" Remus yelled back childishly.

"You stop yelling!" Sirius shouted back.

"Both of you can shut the fuck up!" screamed Harry from the doorway. His hair was messier than usual and he wore only a pair of track pants, obviously just having gotten out of bed. He was breathing heavily, little puffs of smoke that disappeared into the cold air.

"Number one," he began, looking at Remus. "Sirius did not take advantage of me. Number two, you did kiss me, I definitely did not kiss you. And number three, unless you want the whole house to hear you should stop discussing this in public! It is not something I want spread around the whole country!" Harry finished, took a deep, calming breath and leaned against the wall.

Remus was the first to recover, apologising to Harry and walking back into the empty kitchen, giving his best mate a meaningful look as he closed the sliding glass door.

Sirius, who had been standing frozen to the spot in shock, shook himself and took a deep breath.

"So," he began. His foot again began to tap out a nameless tune.

"So," said Harry in return.

The awkwardness was unbearable. They were taking it in turns to look at each other, neither of them game enough to meet eyes.

"Look, I-" Sirius began, but wascut off by a muffled yelp and a dull thud from the kitchen. The two shared a quick look and ran inside. Remus sat on the floor by his chair, obviously having just fallen off, pale faced with coffee dripping down his shirt. In one hand he held the day's Daily Prophet.

"Are you okay?" Harry and Sirius asked at the same time. Wordlessly Remus tossed the paper towards them, landing face up at their feet. In big, bold letters were the words

'THE BOY WHO KISSED: Are Harry Potter & Sirius Black a couple?'

The photograph underneath showed two men, kissing passionately while they danced.

"Oh shit."

* * *

Sirius paced the room nervously as Remus and Harry sat at the table, staring at the offending paper.

"What are we going to do? Everyone gets the Daily Prophet. Everybody in this house gets the Daily Prophet! They're going to kill us!" Harry exclaimed, letting his head fall into his hands. "Not to mention how the rest of the world is going to react!"

Sirius paused in his pacing to smack his godson around the back of the head. "No idiot! It'll be me everybody in this house will kill, because I 'took advantage of you'! And the rest of the world can go get fucked because right now they don't matter!" He threw himself into his chair, running his hands through his usually perfect hair.

Remus just stared at the paper, knotting his hands together. "Well," he said after a few moments of silence. "I suppose it's a bit much to try and steal everybody's paper before they read it, isn't it?

* * *

"Shutup! You're making too much noise!" Harry hissed at his father's best friends, who were arguing as quietly as they could behind him. The trio stood outside Ron and Hermione's bedroom door, waiting for the right moment to sneak in and steal their owl.

"I wasn't being serious when I suggested this! We can't steal every Order members paper! And if we do they'll probably go out and buy one anyway! It is not possible!" Remus whispered harshly.

Sirius growled and turned around, wand raised on his old friend, who was soon to become his silent and immobile friend.

"Oi!" whispered Harry. The door to their bedroom was open, revealing Ron fast asleep. The sounds of running water could be heard faintly, the bathroom door to the left closed. Motioning the pair behind him forward, Harry crept into the room, cursing himself for letting Malfoy borrow his cloak. Sitting quietly in his cage, Pigwidgeon hooted excitedly when he caught sight of them. The owl with the Daily Prophet was sitting patiently on the window sill, head nestled in its wing.

"Grab the paper and go!" mouthed Remus. Harry's brain finally clicked into gear, and he tiptoed across the room and tried to take the paper from the owl, who woke up immediately. The Daily Prophet owl nipped at his hand, drawing blood. In the bathroom, the shower was turned off.

"Fuck!" Harry said, as quietly as he could. "It wants the money! Who has some coins?" he asked distractedly, staring at the bathroom door. Sirius and Remus searched their pockets quickly.

"I have a galleon," said Sirius after a minute, and tossed it to his godson who was bordering on hysterical. Harry put the money into the pouch and snatched up the paper, ready to bolt from the room. The bathroom door opened.

Hermione screamed. Harry screamed. Remus and Sirius screamed. Ron woke up to see his best friend, his best friend's godfather and his former professor staring at his naked wife.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he roared, sitting up quickly. They bolted, leaving the paper on the floor.

* * *

"I dropped it. I can't believe I dropped it!" Harry moaned. They were sitting at the kitchen table, feeling extremely sorry for themselves. "Ron and Hermione are going to kill us and we don't even have the paper!"

Sirius let his head fall onto the table. "I gave an owl a galleon. For nothing."

Remus shuddered. "I saw one of my students naked. I will never be able to look her in the eye again."

Their pitiful complaints were interrupted by the sound of people walking slowly down the stairs. As one the trio at the table looked longingly at the door to the garden, before resigning themselves to their fate. Ron and Hermione stepped through the door. Ron held the paper in his hand, and looked like he was about to laugh. Hermione refused to look at anyone, her cheeks red from embarrassment.

"So," Ron began, a smirk on his face. "Were you planning on telling us about this relationship of yours? I mean, I guess I can understand you wanting to keep it low key and everything... but sneaking into our bedroom to steal our paper? That's a bit much." He was biting his lip now, his face turning red from concealed laughter.

Sirius huffed. "Shutup. Look can you guys just keep this to yourselves? We were drunk, okay?" he said moodily.

"Keep which bit? The front page of the newspaper or you sneaking into our room? Because I don't think I can stop the rest of the world from reading the paper." Ron gave up, and starting guffawing loudly, tears of laughter running down his face.

A small bell in the living room chimed, signalling someone entering through the Floo.

"I'll see who it is," said Hermione, seemingly eager to escape. She'd only made it two steps out of the door before two red headed blurs burst past her. They paused a meter away from the table, staring at Harry and Sirius for only a second before pissing themselves laughing. Harry groaned, and dropped his head on the table.

"This day could not get any worse!" he exclaimed. The floo bell chimed twice more.

"Just did!" said Fred and George simultaneously, before a fresh wave of laughter overtook them.

Molly Weasley stormed into the kitchen, Arthur trying to calm her to no avail. Sirius leapt out of his chair when he saw her, manoeuvring around the table to put space between the Weasley matriarch and himself. Ron, Fred and George laughed harder, and even Hermione was fighting the giggles.

"You evil paedophile!" screamed Molly, drawing her wand and pointing at Sirius threateningly. "Taking advantage of your own godson! James and Lily would be devastated!"

It was Harry's turn to leap out of his chair, standing in front of Sirius protectively. "Mrs Weasley! Calm down! Sirius did not take advantage of me!" he said defensively. "I'm not a child!"

Arthur stood behind Molly, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Now dear, if they want a relationship then we should respect that. It is their decision," he said firmly, and tried to pluck the wand from his wife's grasp.

"In a relationship?" squealed Tonks from the door, Ginny by her side. "You two are in a relationship? I thought it was just sex!" The whole room, which was now rather crowded, turned to stare at Sirius and Harry. Even the twins had stopped laughing. Kingsley Shacklebolt sidled through the door, closely followed by Professor McGonagall. Everybody waited for an answer.

"Well," began Sirius as he moved as quickly as possible to the door leading outside, Harry following a step behind. "Remus knows everything!" As one the crowd looked to the werewolf, who swallowed and Harry sprinted to the relative safety of the garden.

"Oi! They're getting away!" shouted Fred and George.

* * *

**Sigh. I finally finished this chapter... and I'm sorry to everyone who was waiting, it took me a while. I had writer's block, and then I haven't been home etc. But here it is. And yes, I know it is absolute mayhem and complete crap but I'd had so much fun writing this chapter, I hope you guys like reading it. Reviews are priceless, and I'd love to get some comments... yes that includes the people who alert stories but don't review! It has two chapters now, you have to say something!**

**Lady Sarai Black**


	3. Get High

**The Madder Side**

_Get High_

Let me taste your madder side and let's see who I become. Sirius and Harry's bonding time got a little out of hand. And now the press were camped outside, Molly Weasley wanted Sirius dead and the rest of the house wanted to know their every detail. Damn. SBHP, SLASH.

* * *

Sirius took a swig from the bottle of Firewhiskey and passed it on to Harry, who took a mouthful of his own. The moonlight tap danced across their faces as they sat on the roof, the pale beams the only light they dared have in case someone came to find them. They'd spent most of the day dodging everyone else in the house, including a few close calls with Mrs. Weasley and half the reporters in the country knocking on the door of Grimmauld Place for answers. It was exhausting.

But, despite spending the entire day together, they'd yet to utter more than a few words to one another. And even then only if they really had to.

The silence on the roof was stifling. Sirius resisted the urge, just, to scream his frustration at the situation at the top of his lungs. Harry was his godson for crying out loud! They should be able to discuss what happened like mature adults. But even though his brain screamed at him to say something, anything, his mouth refused to form words. And what would he say, even if he could?

He was meant to be a father figure. He was meant to give Harry advice about the girl he likes, and to tease him about that time he caught him snogging with her on the couch. Not be the one snogging him. And what would James think? He'd be turning in his grave at the thought of his best friend kissing his son! And Lily. Lily would no doubt hit him where it hurts. All of this because of a drunken mistake. And it wasn't even that bad! It's not like they slept together. It was a harmless kiss between friends... Sort of.

And, to top it off, he'd kissed a guy. Sirius had kissed a fair few guys in his time. Hell, he'd had sex with James and Remus before! But he wasn't so sure where Harry stood. As far as he knew, Harry had been with girls and girls only. God. What the hell was he going to do?

His musings were interrupted by voices below.

"I swear Molly, I don't know where they are!" Remus said, sounding both defeated and exhausted.

Sirius suppressed a snicker. He felt sorry for his mate, he really did. But the other day he'd dumped a bucket of cold water on top of him when he'd refused to get out of bed. And leaving him to someone like Molly Weasley was always a good way to get revenge.

"Remus, I realise you are friends with Sirius, but you must think of Harry!" she said sharply, and Sirius carefully avoided the look his godson was sending his way. "Sirius is a good man, but he can be rather... well, you know what I mean," she trailed off.

"Look, I know you don't think that highly of Sirius..." the pair's voices trailed off as they walked away, presumably back inside. And again there was silence.

* * *

Harry shifted uncomfortably and sighed, running his hands through his hair. It was really getting to him. Generally he wasn't much of a talker. He liked silence... Just not this unbearable quiet! It was unnerving and he had no idea what to say to the man sitting next to him. I'm sorry you kissed me? And it _was_ Sirius who started the whole thing.

Sirius. His godfather. The man who was supposed to... well, be a father to him. And, to top it off, he was a guy. He'd kissed a guy. Well, a guy had kissed him. Did that make him gay? He was sure he still liked girls... so did that make him bi? Did he like kissing Sirius? Yes. No. God this was fucked up.

So, reasoned Harry after a few more moments of thinking, it really shouldn't be him who was... awkward about the whole thing. If it wasn't his fault (and it wasn't) then what was there to be weird about? Coming to the conclusion that Sirius probably felt worse than he did right now, Harry decided it was up to him to start the it's-okay-no-it's-not-no-really-it-is conversation.

"Hi." Harry took a deep breath to stop himself from jumping off the roof. Why couldn't he have said something sophisticated? Something that said... I forgive you, without actually having to say it. Something that started a conversation properly!

Sirius looked across at his godson uncertainly, unaware of the scolding going on inside the man's brain. "Hi," he replied slowly. He braced himself for the bit where Harry told him he was going to be disowned. Instead he was met with more silence while Harry tried to think of something slightly more intelligent to say.

"Today was pretty hectic," he said after a while, and his brain sighed in relief. Four little words got him on the subject of why they were up on the roof, with minimum fuss and he didn't sound like a complete tool.

"Yeah it was," Sirius replied.

Harry waited for a few seconds until he realised his godfather wasn't going to continue. Damn. Now he needed something new to say. Think sophistication, the voice chanted in his head.

"You kissed me." As soon as the words escaped his mouth, Harry had to stop himself from jumping off of the roof again. What happened to sophistication he would never know.

Sirius winced and took a deep breath. "Yes, I did." He paused for a moment before continuing. "I'm really sorry. I was drunk and I know that isn't an excuse but I really didn't..." he trailed off.

"No I'm sorry for bringing it up like that," said Harry quickly. "I didn't mean for it to come out so... well, you know." Actually Sirius didn't, but he pretended to anyway.

"Yeah, I get it. I really am sorry though."

"Me too. It was just as much my fault as yours," Harry said, even though his brain told him it certainly was not his fault.

Sirius opened his mouth to reply when someone opened the window behind them and stuck their head through. At once the pair recoiled at the sight of red hair, and Sirius unconsciously tried to hide behind his godson. Molly Weasley looked livid.

"Both of you. Inside, now."

* * *

Draco chuckled to himself as he listened to Tonks recount the day's events for the fifth time. He'd always thought Potter was a bit of a poof, or at least bi. But his own godfather? How scandalous! It was like Christmas had come early!

After the two had been found on the roof (Tonks said they'd been caught going for it), they had received a lecture from Mrs. Weasley about responsible behaviour and Remus about not leaving your friends to clean up the mess (Extendable Ears are priceless). Tonks and Ginny ambushed them on their way out of the kitchen for details about their sex life and all the Weasley's sitting in the living room had cracked up laughing as soon as they'd seen the couple. And Draco knew for a fact that Sirius would find pictures of Harry plastered all over his bedroom ceiling, and Harry pictures of Sirius.

Though he'd never say it aloud, even on pain of death, Draco loved staying with the Order. Everywhere he looked there was drama, romance, comedy and tragedy. Potter and Black getting together was comedy at its best.

Still chuckling to himself, Draco made his way out of the lounge room and up the stairs towards his room. It was much easier to plot in silence.

* * *

Draco stepped through the door in his room and onto the balcony, lighting the joint in his hand and taking a hit. He blew the smoke into the night sky and smiled to himself, the moonlight making his pale blond hair shine. He'd be in a good mood for the rest of the week because of wonder boy and his pet puppy. He leaned onto the railing that ran around the edge of the platform and glanced down at the bleak garden below. His day got better.

Potter was walking in circles around the small backyard, scuffing his feet on the ground and digging pieces of the lawn up with his sneakers. Draco debated whether or not he should call out something rude.

He was just deciding on whether he should ask Potter who topped or comment that the pair made a cute couple when his think-up-insult time was interrupted by someone bursting through his bedroom door. In an instant Draco had drawn his wand and was pointing it at the shadowy figure leaning against the now closed door.

"Who are you?" he spat at the offending person, his voice hard.

The figure jumped, obviously startled, before chuckling and raising his hands in the air.

"I only want a place to hide, cousin," said Sirius honestly. "Don't you use lights? Or do they burn?" he added nastily, referring to the time when Fleur and Bill's oldest daughter, Katherine, had thought that Draco was a vampire.

"Ha. Ha," replied Draco sarcastically, though he lowered his wand. "I was on the balcony."

Sirius sniffed the air and eyed what he'd first taken as a cigarette. "I see why. Molly would kill you if she found you with that." Sirius paused to let the threat hang in the air for a while. "But if you share, I won't tell anybody."

Draco considered the offer. Sharing had never been a strong point... but he knew Sirius well enough to know that he would tell Molly if provoked. And the next week had some promising entertainment lined up that he didn't want to miss because he'd been kicked out of Grimmauld Place.

"Fine," Draco said grudgingly, and motioned for his cousin to follow him onto the balcony.

The pair stood in silence for a while, each immersed in his own thoughts as they passed the joint back and forth between them.

Finally Draco broke the silence. "Are you and Harry really together?" he asked quietly. Though he had gleefully teased them about their relationship along with the rest of the house, he never really believed they were together. Honestly. He could understand that they were gay... Potter always was a bit suspicious. But together? No. Not right now anyway.

"No. Never have been, never will be. We were drunk." Sirius said grumpily.

There was another pause. "Didn't think you were. Are you gay?" Draco said.

Sirius sighed. "No. I'm bi. Always have been, that's nothing new. What's with the interrogation?" He leaned onto the railing and dropped his head, running his hands through his hair.

"Is Harry?" asked Draco curiously.

"I don't know. Why? You interested?" Sirius asked, just a bit too aggressively in Draco's opinion.

"Not in the slightest. But you seem to be," he replied slyly, and subtly edged away from Sirius, just in case he decided to throw him off the balcony.

And, as predicted, Sirius rounded on his little cousin angrily, his icy grey glare piercing the darkness. But Draco just smirked and leaned casually against the wall, taking another hit from the joint in his hand.

"He is my godson! I do not feel about him that way!" Sirius hissed, his fists clenching.

Draco pushed himself off of the wall, and passed the joint to the other man. "Are you sure about that?"

Yes he was damn well sure about it! If he felt even the tiniest bit attracted to Harry he would have noticed before now! Or so he told himself, stubbornly ignoring the voice that told him that he really had no fucking idea. It was that same voice that had been whispering poison to him all day, telling him exactly how good it felt to kiss Harry. How good Harry looked when he had yelled at him that morning, hair ruffled and shirtless. Come to think of it, how good Harry looked all the time.

Sirius gave a little growl of frustration. "Do you want me to be honest?" he said angrily, whirling to face Draco. "To be honest, I have no fucking idea how I feel! All I know is that I don't know! I can't figure out whether I'm disgusted that we kissed or whether I want to kiss him again! Every time I decide that I don't feel anything other than friendship towards him, a little voice tells me how good it felt. When I decide that I do feel something for him, all I can see is James and Lily, shaking their heads at me. Because it's wrong! Whether I feel that way about him or not, I can't do anything because it isn't socially fucking acceptable!" Sirius finished, breathing heavily.

Draco stared. He knew he had some good shit, but he didn't realise that Sirius was already so baked that he didn't know what he was saying.

"Well," he said after a moment. "Would you like my advice?"

Sirius gave him an exhausted look, and nodded. He'd already spilled his guts to the boy; he might as well hear what he has to say.

"Fuck what everyone else thinks."

* * *

Sirius stumbled towards his bedroom door, feeling the effects of the Firewhiskey. After hearing Draco's wonderful advice, the pair had paid a visit to the Hog's Head and gotten smashed. He felt a slight sense of achievement that he'd managed to not kiss his cousin during the process.

He opened the door as quietly as he could and slipped into his room, reeking of smoke and alcohol. Sirius stripped off his band t-shirt and tried to struggle out of his jeans, only managing to undo the button and unzip the zipper before he collapsed onto the bed. Or tried to.

Harry stared at him curiously, eyebrows raised at his godfather.

"Oh fuck," Sirius groaned. Now was not the best time to have a chat.

"Yeah," Harry replied. "You're probably not in the mood to have one of those kind of talks, but we're going to anyway. I've been waiting two hours, and Ron saw me come in here so I'm going to get the shit paid out of me tomorrow."

Sirius raised his head from the pillow to look at the other man. Harry sat there innocently, a slight smile on his face. He obviously didn't hate him. Yet.

"Okay. You talk, I'll listen. And then I can sleep?" Sirius said with a smile.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Yes."

"Go ahead. You have five minutes."

Harry rolled his eyes again. "Right. For a start we need everybody to stop thinking we're a couple."

Sirius nodded in agreement, eyes closed. He couldn't look at Harry. He knew that if he did, he'd want to tell him that he didn't want to forget what happened. That he couldn't forget what happened. And that was what alcohol did to people. It made them say things they really shouldn't, and Sirius had no intention of doing something else stupid today. Damn Draco for making him realise. He was happier being oblivious. Hell, he was happier confused.

"And, I think we need to be normal. Like we are now," Harry continued. If only he knew. "Or people will think we have feelings for each other."

I do have feelings for you! Sirius wanted to shout at his godson for being so thick. But Harry didn't even seem phased... forget it, he told himself sternly. Just forget it.

"And... actually that's about it." Harry chuckled. "Well I suppose I should let you sleep. I'll see you tomorrow... if you can get out of bed."

Sirius felt the bed move as Harry walked towards the door. "Goodnight," he heard him call softly.

"Night," he replied, and rolled on his side. He wasn't tired any more.

* * *

**Well, I know nothing about drugs so if I have something wrong... sorry. Anyway, sorry for the long wait. But thanks to everyone who reviewed! Much appreciated. The next chapter will not even be worked on until next year sometime, as I am unavailable. I'm on summer holidays! Which means I am no where near a computer for about a month. I'd really really like some reviews! Pretty please? Special thanks to my betas, Gina & Jayne.**

**Lady Sarai Black**


	4. Let's Fuck

**The Madder Side**

_Let's Fuck_

Let me taste your madder side and let's see who I become. Sirius and Harry's bonding time got a little out of hand. And now the press were camped outside, Molly Weasley wanted Sirius dead and the rest of the house wanted to know their every detail. Damn. SBHP, SLASH.

* * *

As predicted, Ron told the whole house that he saw Harry disappear into Sirius' room. Which led to a kitchen table discussion of their sex life, wedding date, how long their relationship had been going for and why it was concealed. Tonks was convinced, after coming to the conclusion that it wasn't just about sex, that they would soon be married in the same church as Lily and James.

All bullshit. Harry tried in vain to convince the household that they were not, in any sense, a couple. But Sirius had not been out of his room, or indeed out of bed the whole day, even though it was two in the afternoon. Harry assumed it was a hangover, the rest of the house decided he was waiting for his lover to return. Again, all bullshit.

Sirius was depressed. And a depressed Drama King is never a good thing. He'd been sitting in his room for the whole day contemplating who would miss him if he jumped out of the window. Certainly Harry wouldn't. Molly would be pleased the threat to her innocent little Harry was gone, and Remus would probably be thankful. He was going to die and no one would care. No one would remember him! He'd be the bloke who committed suicide. The tragedy no one remembered the name of. The injustice of it all.

In reality, everybody in the house would miss him. In fact, Sirius would never be an unnamed tragedy in the Prophet, simply because he was important. He was the wrongly accused mass murderer, Harry Potter's godfather and lover, and the three time winner of Witch Weekly's Sexiest Wizard Alive. No one could forget him after that. Which was why Remus was currently knocking violently on Sirius' bedroom door, demanding entrance and an explanation.

"Sirius Orion Black, open this door right now!" Unfortunately Remus had taken on the role of mother, the one Sirius never had as a child. "If you don't open this door I'm going to blast it open!" he threatened.

Sirius didn't move from his bed. The threat was a hollow one, and if he turned the door handle he would realise the room wasn't locked or warded.

"Sirius!" said Remus in desperation, giving a last thump to the door. "Please!" Sirius sighed, and leaned over to pick up his wand from the bed side table. He gestured for the door to open, to reveal a very irritated best friend.

"Hi," he said cheerfully.

Remus glowered, and grasped his wand tightly in his hand as he walked into the room. "I hate you," he said in his most venomous voice. "Just because you have a hangover, doesn't mean you can lock me and the rest of the world out of your room. Everybody still thinks you're in love with Harry!" he exclaimed.

Sirius rolled over, burying his face into the pillows. "The door wasn't locked, or warded," he said in a muffled voice. Silence.

"What?" the werewolf asked in disbelief. "You always ward your room!"

Sirius groaned. "Not last night. Harry broke them. And I don't care what the rest of the world thinks. They can decide I'm marrying Dumbledore if they want, I don't give a flying fuck." Silence.

"Bad hangover, huh?" asked Remus at last. Somebody sniggered from the doorway.

"If a hangover is what you want to call it," said Draco with a smug grin. Sirius raised his head from the pillow and glared at his cousin.

"Fuck up," he said warningly. Draco smirked, and Remus looked between the two of them in confusion.

"Hasn't Sirius told you why he hasn't been out of bed all day yet, Remus? Doesn't he trust you?" Draco asked innocently.

Remus looked back at Sirius. "You two don't like each other," he said flatly. "I know you got drunk together last night, but how is it that he knows something and I don't? Sirius?" he asked suspiciously. His friend groaned, and Draco did a victory jig in his head. He walked into his cousin's bedroom and sat on the end of his bed, patting his leg in an obviously fake attempt at affection.

"It's alright, you can trust Remus. He's your friend," he said mockingly.

Sirius kicked out at his cousin, and shoved his head back under the covers. "Go away Malfoy."

"Malfoy?" asked Draco in a hurt voice. "You weren't calling me Malfoy last night when you-" he was cut short by Sirius' enraged yelp.

"Sirius," said Remus quietly, eyes wide with shock. "Please tell me you did not sleep with your cousin." The werewolf took on a horrified look. "Your cousin for crying out loud!" he cried in disgust.

Sirius and Draco stared at him, not realising that what they had said sounded very suggestive to somebody not in on the joke.

"What?" asked the Animagus after an awkward pause. He and Draco shared a look, and made faces at each other.

"You think I-? No!" they both exclaimed at the same time, and then turned to glare at each other.

"No, no, no!" said Sirius, shaking his head. "I came home alone last night. Harry was in my room when I got back!"

"And I went home with a girl. A _girl_. Who is most definitely not related to me!" Draco added emphasis on the girl part.

Remus released the breath he was holding. "Well you can't blame me for being unsure," he said quickly, holding up his hands in defence. "It did sound like it from where I was standing. And considering your track record Sirius..." he trailed off. His friend glared at him.

"Alright, alright. You came in here, annoyed me, insulted me and I will never be able to look at my dear cousin in the same way again. Thankyou very much. You know where the door is," said Sirius pointedly, and flopped back onto the pillows.

Draco coughed.

The Marauders both turned to stare at him.

"Wasn't there something you wanted to tell Remus before he left?" asked the blond haired man innocently.

Sirius' clenched jaw twitched, and Remus turned to look at him.

"Sirius?" he asked suspiciously, immediately back on the offensive.

"Draco," began Sirius between gritted teeth. "You know where the door is. Actually, right about now the door is too good for you. Draco, you know where the window is."

"What happened?" asked Remus in a resigned voice. "What did he do?"

Draco shrugged and stood from the bed. "It's not my place to say," he said, and sauntered out of the room, whistling. "Have fun, boys."

"Malfoy!"

* * *

Really, he was doing his cousin a favour, Draco reasoned with himself as he leaned against the wall outside Sirius' bedroom. Remus would give him some good advice, and Sirius would tell Harry he loves him and they'd all live happily ever after.

Draco winced as he heard an enraged yell from inside. Well, they would if Remus thought that Sirius and Harry would make a good couple, and that his friend wasn't being a dirty old pervert.

There was a loud thump, and Draco pushed himself off of the wall and made his way down stairs. He had nothing to feel guilty about, it had to be said. Sirius couldn't be left to mope the day away. Now all he had to do was to stop the masses from butting in where they weren't wanted, and his day would be complete. Oh, and he had to talk to Granger.

* * *

Sirius held back his head to stop his bleeding nose as Remus tried, without much success, to heal his black eye and cut lip. Giving up, he settled for conjuring ice to slow the swelling.

"You're an idiot," said Remus with venom as he held ice on his face, not looking at his best friend.

"Oh really?" replied Sirius, voice harsh as he fumbled for his wand.

"Yes, really! Harry is your godson! James and Lily's son!"

Sirius lowered his head to glare at his friend, then quickly yanked his head back as blood began to pour down his face again.

"You think I don't know that? You don't think I've been kicking myself for being such a stupid dick? I wasn't planning on telling you, or Harry, or anyone for that matter, so you don't have to worry about me fucking around with Harry's mind. Okay? Now please, leave," he said in a muffled voice, still fumbling for his wand.

Remus was silent for a moment, and then mutely reached over and handed Sirius his wand. Sirius muttered something and the bleeding stopped.

"Thanks," he said gruffly. Remus sat on the end of the bed and studied his long time friend, amber eyes searching for any indication of what he was thinking. Sirius looked back, stormy eyes blank of any emotion the werewolf could read.

"Are you really serious? You really do feel something more than just father-son affection for Harry?" he asked after a long pause.

"Yes," began Sirius desperately. "I really, honestly, seriously do feel something for him. I... I think I love him."

Remus gave a sad smile. "Well, if you want me to be honest I would have preferred for you to choose someone else..." Sirius dropped his head. "But I guess you can't choose who you fall in love with. I'm happy you finally found someone."

Sirius gave a blinding grin, and clapped his friend on the back. "Thankyou for understanding."

Remus smiled back, and stood from the bed. "So are you going to tell him or what?"

The smile dropped. "Tell him? Are you nuts?"

* * *

Draco was still whistling as he wandered into the kitchen. The twins, Ron and Hermione were sitting around the kitchen table, staring at the ceiling.

"Oi Malfoy," asked one of the twins (he could never tell them apart). "What's going on up there?"

He shrugged in reply, and muttered something about not disturbing. He opened the fridge and pulled out a small tub of vanilla ice cream, and grabbed a spoon from the nearby draw before asking his big question.

"Granger, can I talk with you a moment?" he asked as politely as he could manage.

Dead silence. "What do you want with her, Malfoy?" Ron spat suspiciously. Hermione looked startled at the request, her eyebrows raised in question.

Draco glared at the youngest male Weasel. "Not that it's any of your business, but I want to snog your wife's brains out." Ron's jaw dropped, and Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Come on Malfoy, let's go outside," she said in an exasperated voice, and walked out the back door. Draco paused by the exit and saluted the still stunned Weasels.

Hermione was seated on the small swing set in the back corner of the garden by the time Draco had escaped the kitchen, and he walked slowly over to her. He couldn't believe that he was actually talking to _Granger_, to help _Potter_ find _love_. The horror of it all.

"So what do you want Malfoy?" asked Hermione, amused. "I know you didn't come out here to 'snog my brains out'. You'll give Ron an apoplexy if you keep saying things like that."

Draco snorted. "I wish," he said bitterly. "No, I came out here to talk to you about... something slightly delicate." He took a deep breath. "Do you know who Potter likes?"

Hermione paused, then gave a choked squawk. "Wh- wh- what?" she spluttered. "You are actually interested in Harry?" Her eyes were wide with shock for only a second before she started to laugh, her head falling back in her mirth.

Draco glared. "Not for me you idiot! Whatever you people seem to think, I am entirely straight!"

Hermione snickered. "Not with that hair," she muttered under her breath.

The Slytherin immediately raised his hand to his hair, his eyes like ice as he glared at one of his most hated enemies. "I'm trying to do Potter a favour, Granger. At least hear me out without the pathetic jokes."

The brunette witch gave one last chuckle, and nodded her agreement. She'd hear ferret boy out, if only to find out who it was that liked Harry.

"Now," Draco began in a businesslike tone. "Who does Potter like? And, more importantly, does he like girls or guys?"

Hermione cocked her head to the side. "As far as I know, he doesn't like anyone. Definitely not someone from the Order anyway. And girls or guys... a few days ago I would have said girls. But now... I think he swings both ways. Who likes him? And if it is you, Malfoy, I don't think you stand a chance."

Draco let out a frustrated yelp. "I'm not gay! I'm not interested in Potter!" He paused. "But if I was, he would so go me. I'm sexy."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "And the point of all this is?"

The man took a deep breath. "I'm going to say a name. And you are going to give me an honest opinion on this person's chances. Without any questions. Right?"

Hermione nodded.

"Okay. Sirius Black."

Her jaw dropped. "He- he- he likes Harry? I thought that they... I thought that was a mistake!"

"It was. Now tell me. What are his chances?" he asked impatiently.

The witch was silent for a few moments. "Well, honestly I never even considered it. But... if Harry could get over the whole 'godfather' thing, I think he has a good chance. Better than most, anyway."

Draco breathed a sigh of relief, and a grin spread across his face.

"Thanks Granger. And... if you wanted to ask Harry, without telling him that Sirius is interested... let me know the answer. If you want to, that is."

* * *

Manipulative bastard, Hermione thought in delight as she followed Draco back inside. He knew I wouldn't be able to resist something like this... and just think! If Harry and Sirius got together... that would be two people with someone to love! How wonderful! And to think Malfoy thought of it before her! Miracles happen every day.

"So what'd Malfoy want?" asked Ron casually after Draco left the room with his ice cream.

Hermione laughed. "Just wanted a chat... I know you were watching us through the window, Ron. Do you know where Harry is?" she asked.

Ron growled. "In his room. You spend time with Malfoy, spend time with Harry but you don't have time for your own husband? Hermione! Hermione!" She walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs, lost in thought.

* * *

Harry idly watched the coloured bubbles float out of the tip of his wand and bob around the room as he laid on his bed. Today was a good day, considering. Of course, he still hadn't faced the press, but the rest of the house was finally leaving him and Sirius alone. It was pretty much all good.

"Harry Potter! We need to have a chat," said Hermione breathlessly as she burst into his room, hair flying wildly around her and eyes sparkling.

The wizard in question groaned. His day was ruined.

"Do we have to? I'm kind of in the middle of something right now." Hermione looked pointedly at the bubbles, and Harry growled defensively. "Doing nothing is still doing something!"

She scowled. "I'll debate that with you later. We need to talk," she replied.

Harry groaned again, and rolled onto his stomach. "Then talk away."

Hermione bounced onto the bed, and crossed her legs as she sat, a grin on her face.

"Now," she began, imitating Draco's business tone. "You and Sirius. Are you sure you aren't together?"

Harry raised his head from the pillow and stared at her. "Hermione. I don't think I would forget an entire relationship. And if we were together, you would be the first to know. Is that all you wanted?"

"But you two are so cute together. You act like a couple, touching and laughing and flirting. Why aren't you together?" Hermione continued on, completely ignoring Harry's attempts to shut her up.

The boy-who-lived paused, waiting for her to continue. When she didn't, he shook his head.

"Number one: He's Sirius. He has better things to do than to chase me. Number two: He's my godfather. Number three: How much shit would we get for that?" he asked with a grin. "It's not going to happen."

Hermione noted down with satisfaction that Harry hadn't listed the fact that Sirius was his godfather as his first reason. She also noted he never mentioned the fact that she was telling him to get with another guy. Hope.

"What do you mean he has better things to do than to chase you? Do you mean you'd go out with him if he asked you out?" she ploughed on mercilessly, refusing to take any notice of the bemused look on her friend's face.

"What?" he asked in confusion. "Hermione, he's not going to ask me out any time soon. What is with the inquisition? Why does it matter?"

"Just tell me, Harry," she said in exasperation. "Would you go out with him?" She bounced on the bed in impatience, desperately wanting to go and tell Sirius the good news. If she was being obvious, she didn't care.

Harry stared at her. "I suppose I would?" he replied after a pause, still confused, his answer a half question.

"Great!" Hermione shouted, and quickly kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks Harry!" she cried as she leapt from the bed, and raced out the door.

Harry stared after her, completely baffled at her behaviour. She was exactly as Ron would describe. Mental.

* * *

"Draco Malfoy! Malfoy! Get your ferret arse here right now!" Hermione screamed in excitement, bouncing on the balls of her feet as she raced down to the kitchen. Ron, George and Fred were standing in the doorway, staring at her in amazement. She'd gone bonkers.

"Guys! Have you seen Malfoy?" she asked hurriedly.

"Why do you need Mal-" Ron began slowly, but was cut off by his anxious wife.

"Not now, where is Malfoy?" Hermione was hopping, first on one foot, then the other.

"Uh... second floor I think," said George, puzzled.

"Sirius room! Of course!" She raced off again, giving a distracted wave as she sprinted out of sight.

"Mental, that one," said Ron in bewilderment.

* * *

"Draco!" exclaimed Hermione as she bolted into Sirius room. The trio, made up of Sirius, Remus and Draco, were sitting in a small circle on Sirius' bed, handing around the bucket of ice cream. Remus and Sirius glanced up in shock as she burst in the room, but Draco hurriedly stood.

"News?" he asked anxiously. He honestly wanted a good answer for his cousin.

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes! He said yes, he would!" She squealed, and grabbed Draco as the danced around in a circle, chanting the word yes.

Sirius, unamused, went back to his ice cream. Remus stared, his mouth open. "What?" he asked after a moment. Hermione and Draco looked at each other, and quickly let go, stepping away.

"Um, we have some good news Sirius," said Draco. He exchanged a look with Hermione, who grinned and nodded.

Sirius grunted. "I need some good news."

"Harry-"

"Harry would go out with you if you asked him!" Hermione cut in excitedly. Draco turned to glare at her.

"It was _my_ news, Granger," he said icily.

She ignored him in favour of watching Sirius' expression. He stared in shock at the pair, as if doubting the truth of the statement.

"Wh- what? How?" he whispered.

"I-"

"_I_ spoke to Granger about your feelings. She talked to Harry, and Harry confided in her that he would say yes, if you asked him out," Draco said, glaring at Hermione. No one was going to steal his thunder!

Sirius looked at his hands, and sat very still for a moment. Remus watched him closely as he shovelled ice cream into his mouth. It was like watching a movie, but with more drama.

Finally Sirius raised his head. "I have to go," he said, the light of hope shining in his grey eyes.

Hermione squealed.

* * *

Harry decided that it was the heat. That was why Hermione had gone temporarily insane, even though it was November. Her questions... what on earth was the woman getting at? Sirius wasn't going to ask him out. Of course, he'd realised the day after their drunken kiss that he would say yes if Sirius did. But that was never going to happen! He shook his head at his long time friend. Marrying Ron wasn't a good move for her. She was losing her common sense.

Harry grinned and dragged himself to his feet, reaching for a t-shirt. He needed food.

"Harry! Harry open up!" a voice he recognised as Sirius' said from outside.

Surprised, Harry dropped his shirt and answered the door with a smile on his face. Sirius stood there, dressed in a whitesinglet and black track pants. In his hand he held a container of vanilla ice cream.

"Hungry?" he asked brightly.

Harry laughed, and stepped back to allow his godfather entrance.

"What are you doing here? I was just going down to the kitchen to get some food."

Sirius grinned and plopped himself on the bed. "Felt like stopping by. I flogged this off of Malfoy on the way here."

Harry laughed again, and sat down next to him, taking the bucket out of the other man's hands. "Great, I'm starving." He started to hack into the ice cream, scoffing down a quarter of the carton before slowing down. Sirius watched with a contented smile on his face.

"So," said Harry after quelling the worst of his hunger. "What's up?"

Sirius grinned, his eyes never leaving the other man's face, and took the spoon out of his hand. "Not much. Just been chatting to Remus and Draco."

Harry raised an eyebrow at the mention of Draco. "What did ferret face want?" he asked in surprise.

"Oh... not much really. We were just swapping information, gossip etc. Hermione stopped by too." Sirius dropped his head to look at the ice cream in his hand, watching Harry through the curtain of hair. Was it just him or did his godson just turn pale?

Harry flinched inside as soon as he heard the words leave Sirius mouth. Damn Hermione! He told her that in confidence. And now Sirius would tease him, and so would the rest of the house. Damn her and her temporary insanity!

"Ah. About that, see-" Harry was cut off by Sirius shaking his head.

"Did you mean it? When you said you would go out with me if I asked you?" he said quietly, studying the other man's face intently.

Harry swallowed and looked at his lap. "Yes."

A broad grin broke out on Sirius face, and he sighed in relief. Harry, who was still refusing to look at his godfather, flinched when he heard it.

"Harry. _Harry_," Sirius repeated when his godson didn't look at him. He finally raised his gaze, to meet Sirius' smiling face. "Will you go out with me?"

He stared. "Huh?" Harry asked stupidly.

Sirius laughed. "Will you go out with me?" He repeated, gently reaching out to touch the other man's cheek.

Harry still gaped at him, taking a moment or four to regain his senses. "Wha- Yes! Of course!" he finally exclaimed.

"Thank God for that," Sirius murmured, and captured Harry's lips with his. He groaned into the other man's mouth, and Harry wrapped his arms around his neck, kissing back passionately.

Harry fumbled for his wand as they fell back onto the bed, gasping a locking and silencing charm as Sirius began to kiss his way down the younger man's neck.

* * *

Outside the door, Remus, Draco and Hermione huddled together around a pair of Extendable Ears. Hermione was still bouncing, a large grin on her face.

"Well that turned out alright," she said happily as they straightened. None of the trio had even the slightest wish to hear what was going on inside the bedroom after that.

Remus beamed, barely resisting the urge to squeal like a girl. "I'm so happy it all worked out for them! Malfoy, I never thought I'd say this. Thank you."

Draco muttered something under his breath. "It's alright," he said after a moment. He made a face and wrinkled his nose. "Don't let it get out that I actually helped you guys though, okay?"

* * *

**Yay! Hahahaha! I actually finished it! OMG! It's amazing. My Internet has shut down, and I haven't been home. I wrote this chapter in about four days. And it's very long (for me) so I hope you appreciate it. It's my apology for taking so long. Thankyou to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. Please review again, I really appreciate any feedback you can give me. Thanks!**

**Lady Sarai**


	5. Let's Joke

**The Madder Side**

_Let's Joke_

Let me taste your madder side and let's see who I become. Sirius and Harry's bonding time got a little out of hand. And now the press were camped outside, Molly Weasley wanted Sirius dead and the rest of the house wanted to know their every detail. Damn. SBHP, SLASH.

* * *

Harry buried his head in Sirius' chest, content not to move for the next millennium. He was comfortable, warm, and lying next to a sex god.

"Babe," Sirius said, voice husky, "should we go down to tea?"

The other man groaned and wrapped his arms tighter around the dog Animagus' waist. "No. Let's just stay here for the rest of the day... week... month." Sirius laughed, the barking sound making his chest feel all warm and fluttery.

"What about for the rest of the year?" he asked with a grin.

Harry looked up, green eyes sparkling and full of mischief. "You're not quite worth giving up my Christmas pudding for."

"Humph," Sirius said, feigning hurt. "So the truth comes out. You're just using me for sex. You'd pick food over me! And bad tasting food too!"

The other wizard's jaw dropped. "Take that back! Christmas pudding is the tastiest of all foods!"

Sirius snorted. "It isn't even the tastiest of all puddings, Harry. Chocolate pudding beats it anytime, anywhere, no matter who made it. Hermione could make chocolate pudding taste better than Christmas pudding."

Harry pulled away from his lover, nose in the air in mock disgust. "See if I ever use you for sex again."

* * *

"With all due respect Molly, I really think it would be best if we left them to their own devices for tonight." Remus was desperate. Sirius and Harry needed alone time... and he really didn't think Molly could handle walking in on what he thought she would walk in on, the couple were skating on thin ice as it was.

Molly half growled, reminding Remus of an angry mother bear. "I am not happy about their relationship, not at all, but I realise Harry is an adult and can make his own decisions... and his own mistakes. But they didn't even have the courtesy to tell me they weren't coming down from that bedroom of sin for dinner. Either you go up and get them, or I will."

Fred and George leapt out of their chairs at the large kitchen table, eyes wide with excitement. "We'll go, mum!" they exclaimed simultaneously, wicked grins on their faces.

Remus looked between them uneasily. With grins like that, the twins shouldn't ever be trusted. "No no... I'll go," he replied with a forced smile and stood up from his seat, pointedly ignoring the twins disappointed puppy eyes.

He walked out of the kitchen and upstairs towards Harry's room.

* * *

"I need the bathroom," Harry yawned into Sirius' chest and tried to roll over and out of bed. Sirius came with him, arms wrapped tightly around his lover. Harry laughed. "It can't exactly wait, babe."

Sirius made an odd noise in the back of his throat, and rolled back onto his back. Harry came with him. "Sirius, what are you doing?" he asked in slight annoyance, twisting awkwardly to look up at him. Sirius' eyes were wide and staring into space, his face pale. "Sirius?"

"Oh, fuck!" Sirius exclaimed and tried to roll out of bed. Again, Harry came too. "Remus!" he yelled.

Outside the door, Remus paused, his hand half way to knock on the door. How the hell did his friend know he was here?

Inside, Sirius continued his tirade. "Remus, you sneaky, slimy little bastard! I'm going to throw you off the roof when I find you!"

The werewolf outside the door frowned, and opened the door to Harry's bedroom. "What in Merlin's name are you screaming about, Padfoot?"

Sirius froze, and stared at his best friend. He took a deep breath and reached over and took a confused Harry's hand. Carefully he untangled himself from his lover, until they were sitting in bed holding hands. Then he threw himself out of bed completely naked, dragging a surprised and equally naked Harry with him, and yelled a war cry at the startled and slightly frightened Remus before running full tilt towards him, Harry dragging along behind.

Remus did the only thing a sane man would do. He ran, as quickly as he could, down the passage and towards the stairs.

After realising he couldn't let go of Sirius' hand, Harry started to run to keep his arm being pulled out of its socket by his deranged lover. The fact that he was deranged was something it would have been helpful to know that before they had sex.

"Si-Sir-Sirius..." Harry panted. "What is- what are- what?" The pair reached the stairs and it dawned on him that Sirius wasn't going to stop at the stairs, even though they were both naked and half the Order was probably sitting in the kitchen. Not to mention Molly Weasley.

Sirius let out a ferocious yell as he spotted Remus halfway down the stairs, and launched himself down the stairs.

Remus, whose heart was pounding loudly in his ears as he neared the bottom of the stairs, wondered vaguely why Sirius and Harry were chasing him around the house naked. It couldn't have been just because he wanted them to come to dinner.

All thoughts left the werewolf's head as something crashed into his back, knocking the wind out of him as he reached the bottom of the stairs. The trio catapulted into the floor and rolled in a large, messy heap into the wall.

Everything was silent.

Harry dragged his head out from where it was crushed between Remus' and Sirius' torsos, looking around dazedly. Standing around the kitchen doorway was Ron, Hermione, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Professor McGonagall, Malfoy, and Tonks. In the doorway stood Fred and George, both red in the face and trying not to laugh out loud as they regarded the scene.

Remus groaned. "Padfoot, what the FUCK?" he exclaimed angrily, the words slightly muffled as his face was buried into Sirius' shoulder.

Sirius shook his head like a dog, trying to clear the ringing, then reached out and smacked the back of Remus' head. "You're a fucking dick, you know that?" he asked with a growl. Neither he nor Remus realised they had a speechless audience.

"I'm the dick?" he asked with disbelief as he tried to untangle himself. "I'm the dick? I wasn't the one randomly chasing someone down the stairs, naked! You and Harry are... are... freaks!" he exclaimed triumphantly. "That's what you are! Freaks!"

Harry coughed. "Not the time, guys," he muttered under his breath, trying to discreetly cover himself.

Both the Marauders turned to stare at him. "What?" they asked simultaneously, noticing the audience at the same moment.

"Oh. Fuck," Sirius said with a sigh. The twins burst out laughing.

* * *

"But Molly! That fuc- bast- wan- fucking bastardly wanker of a werewolf stuck us together!" Sirius exclaimed loudly, not even trying to cover himself as he clasped Harry's arm with one hand and pointed one accusing finger at Remus with the other.

Remus sat at the table with his head in his hands, shaking his head in exasperation. "Again, Sirius, I did not stick you two together!"

Molly stood at the table, arms folded across her chest as she glared at all three of them. "One of you, explain what happened now. No complaining that it's Remus' fault, no saying that it's Sirius', just tell me why my dinner was ruined!"

Remus and Sirius glared at each other, and Harry sighed. He was holding a tea towel in front of him awkwardly. "Sirius and I... woke up before and we can't stop touching each other. I mean," he added hurriedly, seeing everyone in the room raise their eyebrows. "I mean we're stuck together." He demonstrated, trying to pull himself free of Sirius' but only succeeding in overbalancing them both and dropping his towel.

He jumped as someone hit him on the arse as they walked past. "Nice work cuz," said Tonks appreciatively. "If he wasn't with you, I'd tap that."

Sirius growled warningly, and Harry flushed. No one noticed Fred and George, sitting quietly in the corner giggling to themselves.

"Anyway," Harry continued, still blushing. "We're stuck together and Sirius thinks Remus did it and that's how we ended up falling down the stairs."

Molly turned to stare at Remus. "Did you?" she asked in amazement.

"No I did not!" he replied indignantly. "I know why Sirius thinks I did it – we cast the same spell on Lily and James when they first started going out. But it wasn't me!"

"Then who was it?" Sirius asked with narrowed eyes. "You know the spell already. Who the hell would bother to take the time to research that spell? And what for? You're a Marauder, you don't need a motive. Who else would have done it, Remus? Who else?" he asked, leaning over the table and making Harry drop his towel again. In the background, Tonks whistled.

"Well..." began Hermione from her perch on the sink. "Fred and George would."

As one the room turned to stare at the twins, who were still giggling like naughty children as they sat on the bench top.

"Fred. George," Sirius started threateningly.

"Really, Sirius," Fred said in between giggles. "You should put some clothes on."

George laughed. "Yeah Sirius. Harry might appreciate the sight, but we certainly don't." The pair collapsed into laughter.

Sirius took a step towards the red-heads, but Harry pulled him back.

"Maybe we should go upstairs, babe," he said, voice strangely husky. "The twins don't seem to appreciate you naked like I do."

Sirius flushed red as his cock twitched at the implications of that statement, and he heard Ron make a strangled noise in the background. The twins had stopped giggling.

"I think," Harry continued, "that we should make the most of this before it wears off." He tugged his lover to him, Sirius' feet moving on their own as his brain stopped working. His eyes were glazed, and he watched Harry's tongue run along his lips, letting out an involuntary groan.

Everyone looked on in horrified fascination as Harry closed the gap between them and kissed the older man, their arms wrapping around each other as they tried to get as close as possible.

Sirius' broke the kiss hurriedly after a minute. "I agree, upstairs," he murmured against the other man's lips and they stumbled towards the kitchen door, completely unaware the rest of the house watched them in shock.

The pair had just reached the stairs when Arthur recovered, slightly, and shut the kitchen door. Sitting at the table, a pale Ron made a horrified choking noise.

"Who votes we kill Fred and George for making us watch that?" he asked.

Everyone agreed. Except Tonks.

* * *

**Major apologies for taking six months to write 1500 words or so. I had writers block, and I don't think I'm quite satisfied with this chapter but, it will do. Reviews very very very welcome!**

**LS**


	6. Fool's Time

**The Madder Side**

_Fools Time_

Let me taste your madder side and let's see who I become. Sirius and Harry's bonding time got a little out of hand. And now the press were camped outside, Molly Weasley wanted Sirius dead and the rest of the house wanted to know their every detail. Damn. SBHP, SLASH.

* * *

Fred gave the pair a hopeful smile as George muttered the counter-curse.

"So, no hard feelings?"

Sirius glared at him viciously. When he'd calmed down from the naked-in-the-kitchen debacle (and after they'd had sex), Sirius had felt embarrassed. He _never_ felt embarrassed, and the few times it had happened, he'd hated it. The squirmy stomach, the blushing and the not wanting to ever leave your room ever again – he hated it.

Harry coughed. "Maybe you should come back later and apologise." He glanced at his lover. "Next week sometime is probably your best hope."

George opened his mouth to say something, and Fred quickly wrapped a hand across his twin's mouth.

"Will do, Harry," he said brightly and bolted for the door, dragging his brother with him. He saw the kamikaze look in Sirius' eye, and an angry Marauder was not something he wanted to tangle with at the present time.

Harry turned and looked at the other man as the door closed, chuckling to himself. Sirius sat with his arms crossed, glaring at the sheets and looking like a child who'd just been told he couldn't have a cookie for dinner.

"Sirius," he said with a smile. "It's okay. It was a stupid joke; they didn't mean to hurt us."

"I know that!" he snapped. "I'm... I'm embarrassed, okay?" he said with a pout. "I was too angry before to be embarrassed... but I was naked in the kitchen! And everyone else was in the kitchen too!"

Harry raised his eyebrows. Sirius was embarrassed and he wasn't? When did hell freeze over?

"Who cares? Most people have seen you naked before, Sirius. I was getting molested by Tonks while I was naked in the kitchen!" Harry paused, watching his lover scowl at his quilt cover. "Babe, it was embarrassing, I know. But they're our friends. They'll make a few jokes, have a laugh and that'll be the end of it," he said gently.

Sirius sighed. "I know," he said, finally looking at the other man. "I just hate being embarrassed. And I hate being on the receiving end of a prank, even though I dish it out."

Harry chuckled. "But just think how much shit the twins would've got in when we left the kitchen!"

Shaking his head, Sirius moaned. "I can't believe we did that!" he exclaimed, and began to laugh. "As if they wouldn't want to see us together though, we're hot. I'm sure Remus does anyway."

The pair collapsed into laughter, the Animagus finally relaxing and laying beside his lover. Harry rolled over and buried his head in the other man's chest, closing his eyes with a contented smile on his face. Now that Sirius was happy again, he could finally get some sleep.

* * *

When the pair finally arrived downstairs the next morning, no one made any jokes. There were a lot of smirks and blushes, and no one met their eyes, but not one person made a joke. It was disconcerting, really, and not at all what they'd been expecting.

Sirius cornered Remus after breakfast (Molly had given them both glares and burnt bacon - some things, at least, were normal) to demand what was going on. The werewolf had squeaked and nearly dropped the jar of coffee he'd been getting from the pantry when he turned around to find his friend blocking the doorway.

"Explain," Sirius said in a slightly exasperated voice.

Remus gave him a reproachful look. "Explain what? And don't sneak up on me like that! You almost gave me a heart attack!"

Sirius growled. "Explain why no one has made any jokes yet. Why hasn't anyone paid us out?" he asked.

The other man's jaw dropped. "You haven't been paid out? I've been getting shit all morning!" he exclaimed indignantly. "That's not fair!"

The Animagus stared. "Bullshit. Why wouldn't they pay us out if they're teasing you?"

Remus narrowed his eyes. "Bastards," he growled, and pushed past his friend into the kitchen. "Why the fuck are you teasing me about yesterday and not Sirius or Harry?" he asked in annoyance.

Around the table, Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Tonks, Mr. Weasley and Malfoy sat and stared at him. Draco and the twins had wicked smirks on their faces, and Hermione blushed and went back to her breakfast.

"Language, Remus!" snapped Molly from her position by the stove.

The werewolf didn't bother to reply. He was incensed. He was more than incensed - he was furious. Insanely furious.

"Why?" he continued, ignoring the sniggers. "Why do you people do these things to me? What have I done to deserve them? First I get dragged into the Sirius-Loves-Harry Saga, and then I get chased down the stairs by naked fiends, and then _I_ get the shit paid out of me for it and they don't! What is wrong with you people?" he exclaimed, the frustration evident on his face.

"Well," replied Ron with a smirk. "Harry is the Chosen One, the Boy-Who-Lived, he killed Voldemort and he can be pretty scary sometimes. Sirius is a convicted mass murderer. Put them together and you get a fairly dangerous mix."

Remus' jaw dropped. "But I'm a _werewolf_ for Merlin's sake! I could eat you if I wanted to!"

Fred shook his head. "Sorry mate. No comparison. Besides, we're on thin ice with the horny couple anyway."

"It wasn't even my fault!" he exclaimed, tone desperate.

Sirius whistled a happy tune from his spot on the kitchen counter, a grin on his face. "Oh Remmy-bear, maybe if you didn't come across as such a... pussy, people wouldn't tease you so much. You're gayer than field full of fairies with flowers."

"Argh! Like you can talk! You're actually dating a bloke! And you're as bad with your hair as Malfoy! _And_ you own two pairs of leather pants!" Remus growled.

"Hey!" complained Draco. "For the last time, there is nothing gay about my hair! If we're talking gay, what about the way the Weasel follows Potter around like a lovesick pup?"

"Oi! I happen to have a very beautiful wife, Malfoy, and I do not follow Harry around!" Ron replied, outraged. "At least I don't rate other bloke's bums," he said with a pointed look at the twins.

George's mouth dropped open. "Research, you twerp! It's all in the name of research!"

"Oh, sure it is," Remus sniped. "And what type of research would that be?"

"Back off, Remmy-bear. Doesn't the wolf in you get annoyed you're such a soft cock all the time?" Fred growled back, coming to the defence of his brother.

Molly turned back to the stove and stirred her soup. If she ignored them for long enough, they'd all go away and turn back into normal human beings like they used to be.

"There are such things as beta wolves, you know. Remus can't help it, it's the way he was made," Draco cut in.

Remus sighed and turned his eyes heavenward. "I am not a beta wolf! Just because I choose not to be loud and annoying like the rest of the household doesn't mean I can't be tough!"

The arguing went on. From his spot on the kitchen counter, Sirius smiled at the chaos he had caused. Molly was ignoring them, Arthur was standing in between George and Ron trying to keep them apart and the rest of the room was talking loudly over one another. Even Hermione was joining in.

He pushed himself off the counter and sauntered out the door. While they were occupied, he might as well go and get some quality time with his favourite hero.

* * *

"Harry-bear!" called Sirius as he walked down the hall to his lover's room. He stuck his head inside the door, and Harry quirked an eyebrow at him from his spot sprawled across the bed.

"Harry-bear?" he asked with a grin.

Sirius shrugged. "Just trying it on, doll. Doll? Sweetums? Baby-cakes?"

Harry made a face. "Please no. They may not be paying us out about yesterday but I don't think they'll be so understanding if you start calling me baby-cakes."

The other man snickered and threw himself on the bed. "Speaking of that, do you know why they're not teasing us about it?" he paused, and Harry shook his head. "Apparently we're intimidating and scary, and so they're paying the shit out of Remus instead."

Harry snickered. "Poor Remmy. He really got hit with the shit stick this week didn't he?" he said with a grin.

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Well... _yeah_," he replied and Harry rolled his eyes.

"It was a rhetorical question, babe."

The Animagus wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Well aren't we clever today, Mr Wordsmith," he replied snarkily, rolling away from his lover in mock annoyance.

Harry laughed and gave Sirius a gentle shove. "Alright!" he chuckled. "I'll bite. What happened?"

"Well," Sirius rolled back over with a grin. "I had Remus cornered in the pantry-" Harry raised an eyebrow. "And I asked him why no one was paying us out. Then he cracked the shits because apparently everyone'd been paying him out, and went and yelled at the whole kitchen. Then everyone got in a fight because Remus isn't scary, and practically everyone got called gay for one reason or another. They were still going when I left," he finished with a grin.

The other man stared. "So you went down there, started a fight and then left. Merlin, no wonder no one likes you."

Sirius grinned. "But you like me," he said with a wicked grin as he wrapped an arm around Harry's waist and pulled himself closer. "You like me a whole lot."

He rolled his eyes. "Merlin knows why, but I do. Maybe it's because you're just so damn sexy," he added, head tilted to the side as he pretended to consider it.

Sirius nodded seriously. "Probably," he said after a while. "That's why I like you so much."

Harry's smile widened. "Of course it is."

* * *

"For fuck's sake! If you could all just pay attention for one, bloody moment I would appreciate it!" Draco snapped impatiently.

Everyone paused, and the room turned to stare at him. Draco stood at the head of the kitchen table, wooden spoon in hand and the inhabitants of Grimmauld Place seated around him.

"Are you going to spank us for being naughty, Malfoy?" Fred asked with a smirk.

Draco rolled his eyes. "From what I've heard, Weasel, you enjoy that kind of thing. _I_, on the other hand, do not." He ignored the man's indignant splutters and continued. "I've called this meeting about Sirius and Harry and what they've done to this house."

Molly paused in the doorway to the kitchen. "Here here!" she called crossly and continued on her way.

"Anyway," Draco continued with an impatient look at the now empty doorway. "You've all gone mad. Their relationship shouldn't change anything for anyone but them," he added with a condescending look.

Ron raised his eyebrow. "Like you can talk, Malfoy."

"Yeah!" added Fred. "You threw the first plate of eggs!"

Draco sniffed. "Unlike you... plebeian creatures, _I_ am not in the habit of engaging in food fights. The plate merely slipped from my grasp."

Hermione scoffed quietly in the corner.

"The point is," he said with a glare in her direction. "We all need to calm down and start acting like mature, responsible adults. I know you're all happy for them, so we should have the decency to _not_ pay them out about the events of the past few days."

Remus coughed pointedly and everyone rolled their eyes.

"And we'll stop paying you out to, Remmy," Draco added in an exasperated voice. "Merlin's balls, when did I become the voice of reason of this bloody stupid household?"

Hermione grinned. "Possibly when you decided to play matchmaker," she said cheekily.

Draco recoiled as if burned from her words and everyone gasped.

"You- _You_ set them up?" Tonks whispered in disbelief, eyes huge.

"No!" he snapped, sending Granger daggers.

"Yes!" cried Remus triumphantly, eyes alight with victory. "Malfoy is really a romantic at heart!"

The blond spluttered indignantly, unable to respond.

"Oh my god," said Ron, horrified. "You have a _heart_!"

"I do not! How dare you say such words?" Draco replied indignantly, the wild look of a cornered animal in his stormy eyes.

"He does, he does, he does," Remus sing-songed gleefully.

"Oh for fu- how old are you, werewolf?" the blond-haired man snapped. "I thought it would be amusing if they were together! That's it; I just thought it would be funny. And it was, so I was right and now they're all happy, lovey-dovey so it's all good. Okay?"

Fred coughed something that sounded suspiciously like 'Romantic!', and George snickered next to him.

"Okay?" Draco bit out. The table smirked and nodded. "Right. Anyway, the point of this meeting before people-" he glared at Hermione, "butted in with irrelevant information, was that I was going to suggest we should do something nice for them as a couple to show them we're… supportive of their relationship. And probably show them we take them seriously as a couple."

Ginny gave him a glowing smile. "I think that it's a wonderful idea, Malf- Draco. Very decent of you. What about throwing a party for them? Just the Order, and a few other friends."

"We could have it in the garden," added Hermione. "It'd look fine with a few fairy lights."

"Fred and I could do some fireworks," George volunteered.

Ron sighed. "I s'pose I could ask Mum to do a cake and some food. She might have forgiven Sirius for being an evil paedophile by now."

Remus stared around the kitchen in shock, mouth open slightly. They were throwing them a _party_. They were throwing _Sirius_ and _Harry_ a _party_. They were throwing the two people who nearly got him killed by Molly Weasley, who chased him down the stairs while they were _naked_, who gave him a black eye and a cut lip and who did countless other cruel and inhumane things to him a _party_. What the fuck was wrong with his fucking life?

* * *

"Quiet!" Hermione hissed, waving her hand at the twins. She was standing by the back door of the kitchen, glaring in what she thought was the direction of Fred and George. The inhabitants of Grimmauld Place were standing around the garden, hidden from sight by disillusion charms.

The garden itself was illuminated by moving, floating fairy lights placed strategically around the backyard. A table was set up down the right side, laden with food and drink and a big banner with the words "We're Sorry" was stretched across the back fence.

From her position by the back door, Hermione could hear Sirius and Harry thump down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Where is everyone?" Harry asked, voice floating through the open kitchen window.

"Maybe they all died," Sirius sniped nastily and Hermione heard the fridge door open. Somewhere out in the garden, someone made a squawking noise. Probably Remus.

"There are lights on out in the garden!" Harry said in surprise and Hermione heard quick footsteps, followed by the sound of the door creaking open.

"Surprise!" everyone yelled, seemingly appearing out of thin air. Harry made a slightly girly yelping noise, the pair pulling their wands immediately.

"We're sorry," the group chorused, Molly grudgingly holding a large chocolate cake out in front of her.

Sirius clasped a hand to his heart, taking deep breaths. "Merlin's balls!" he exclaimed.

Harry cleared his throat awkwardly and placed his wand back in his pocket.

"Um. Wow. What a surprise," he began, looking slightly confused. "What's going on exactly?"

"Well," Hermione began; stepping out of the shadows by the door and making the pair jump again. "Malfoy thought we should do something for you guys to say sorry for all the... everything that's been happening. Ginny suggested we throw you guys kind of an... acceptance party I guess you'd call it."

Sirius' eyes narrowed. "Well gee, thanks ever so much," he drawled sarcastically. "An acceptance party, you hear that Harry? How fucking wonderful. They've been gracious enough to _accept _us."

Draco growled and stepped forward. "Don't be a twat Black, you know what we mean. Take the fucking apology so we can all drink ourselves into a stupor and pretend the past week never happened."

Sirius had his bitch-face on.

"Si," Harry said quietly, laying a hand on Sirius' shoulder. "They're making an effort."

Sirius sighed. "Fine. Fine, we accept your apology and we accept your acceptance. Happy?" he asked, turning to Harry.

The other man grinned. "Very."

Ginny smiled widely. "Great!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands together and giving Malfoy a glowing look. He made a slightly disturbed face and quickly walked over to the table, grabbing the bottle of Firewhiskey and taking a swig.

"Come have cake," Hermione said and ushered them towards the table. In the background, Fred and George set off fireworks, bright stars exploding into the sky above the garden.

Sirius grabbed Harry's hand in his and squeezed. Harry squeezed back. It was all okay.

* * *

Remus glared into his drink. He sat by himself against the garden fence, moping loudly. Sure, _they_ got a party as an apology. He was the victim in all this and he got stuck with decoration duty. Sirius really was, in reality, an awful best friend.

Tonks flopped down beside him, a grin on her face. Her hair was electric blue and spiky, her large eyes the same colour.

"'Lo Tonks," he mumbled, sighing loudly.

She rolled her eyes heavenward. "What's wrong, wolfy? You know, you're actually meant to have fun at a party."

Remus glared at her. "I know!" he snapped defensively.

"Oh Merlin," Tonks said in exasperation. "You know, I was going to ask Remus to dance tonight. Maybe grab his arse, hope for an invitation out to dinner, that sort of thing. I didn't realise he'd been replaced with his evil emo twin."

The man stared. "What?" he asked stupidly, amber eyes wide.

"See," she continued. "Harry isn't the only one I think has a really nice arse in this house. Emo Remus is a tad too depressing for me though, regardless of where his bum rates on a scale of one to ten. Can you give the real Remus a message when he gets back? Tell him that I'd love to go out to dinner with him when he returns."

She stood up, brushing the back of her bright purple dress off. "Let me know, yeah?" she winked and walked towards the refreshments table.

The werewolf gaped. Bloody hell.

* * *

**And that's it! Story complete! This chapter is un-beta'd so if you find any mistakes, please let me know. Thankyou to everyone who stuck with this story, and I'm so sorry I took so long with this chapter! Please review and let me know what you thought of the story (it was silly, I know =P) and I know there were a lot of people who alerted and added this story to their favourites, so I'd love some feedback from you all! Thanks!**

**Lady Sarai Black**


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